I don’t quite know how this entry is going to end up. I’ve been falling behind on updating this blog. Day #14 was this past Sunday… it’s currently Thursday night. This experiment is falling apart quickly.
Sunday, went pumpkin patchin’ with the Kid. Got some Halloween decor, we’ll be carving them next week. Got my dose of Kid hugs. She’s been great about this. We haven’t talked as much about it since the first week. But, she’s pretty insistent on giving me some big quality hugs. She also gives hugs to the cat, who hates it, but she insists. It’s pretty funny actually.
Taught a small workshop for new performers, didn’t get hugs, but did get a group circle, arms around each other kinda thing. So, some human contact.
Then, I had a meeting with my Editor (I’ve been finishing up the final draft of a novel for months now.) We got in an argument, that quickly spiraled into me getting angry and firing him. Those of you who know me, know that I rarely get angry, but when I do… watch out! So, he got himself fired. And I got myself a night with a bottle of wine, and some grammar editing alone.
So. Hug Project is now in a downward spiral. As stated before, Sundays, Mondays and Tuesdays I interact with very few people. Monday, and Tuesday didn’t get any except the Kid hugs (don’t get me wrong, those are great and do sustain me, but they’re not enough for the Project.)
Here’s the thing… or a thing, I’ve noticed about myself in the past couple years. I am a very collaborative person. In the creative realm, but also in the interpersonal realm. I’m stating this poorly… Let me put it in the example of dating the ladies. In the past couple years I’ve had a bunch of dates with a bunch of different women. (not bragging… which will become painfully clear in a moment.) Usually, 2 – 3 dates. But, I hit a wall where I need to collaborate. That is to say, I need the other person to be as interested or enthusiastic about the project as I am. (In this current example the “project” is future dating.) I can’t know their perspective, because… well, because that’s how humans work. I only know from my perspective that it seems I am doing all the initiating. ….
At the start of this post I said I didn’t know how this entry was going to end up. Looks like it’s ended up with me rambling about my lack of ability to date women… and wallowing in self-pity. Which is a weird place for a Hug Blog to end up. The self-pity thing is really annoying to me, and I’m the one writing it. I can’t imagine how dull and annoying it is to a reader.
So, let’s just stop for a bit. …
Summary for Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. Hugs from Kid, and even then not the minimum of 5 a day. Fired my Editor. Can’t find a lady. Prone to self-pity spiraling.
Oh, I remember where I was going with the collaboration thing. I want to not always be pursuing Hugs for the project. I want more people pursing hugs from me. As Cheap Trick once said, “I want you to want me.” or something like that….
Weekend is coming up, let’s see if we can turn this around.